Helpful Dementia Communication Techniques

Conversations with someone who suffers from dementia or Alzheimer’s can be difficult, emotional, and exhausting – especially when that person is a close relative. Learning some simple yet effective communication techniques can make it much easier to connect and enjoy meaningful time together.

1. Ground yourself. Before engaging in conversation, take a moment to prepare yourself for the encounter. Understand and accept that you may experience a wide range of emotions during the visit. Don’t lose sight of the fact that the person you care about is still inside – and that s/he still cares about you, too.
2. Stay positive and calm. Those with dementia can pick up on our emotions, even if our feelings don’t match our tone of voice. Try to convey warmth and acceptance. Remind yourself that you want to express how much you care about your time together.
3. Eliminate any distractions. What may be a simple distraction to us (like a TV or kids running around) can be torturous to someone with dementia. It’s best to minimize distractions during your conversation by leaving a noisy area or requesting that all electronics are off or in quiet mode.
4. Identify yourself. It can be difficult for someone with dementia to remember who you are and what your connection with him or her is. Gently remind him or her of your name and of how you are related. This will help to make the individual feel safe and will bring back memories.
5. Speak slowly and use shorter sentences and smaller words. If you speak too quickly, it can be difficult for the individual to absorb what you’re saying and to make connections. Even run-on sentences and large words can be confusing. It’s best to speak one sentence at a time, and then pause to let the person fully digest before moving on.
6. Be direct. Say exactly what you mean and try to avoid using pronouns. Instead, point to someone or use a person’s name, and state their relationship to the individual.
7. Don’t make assumptions. Avoid interrupting or trying to finish the older adult’s sentence. Also, don’t assume s/he doesn’t want to participate in a particular activity without asking. Both actions send a message that you believe the person to be incapable of conversing or socializing.
8. Practice active listening. Nodding and validating lets the person know that you’re paying attention and want to hear more. Just be sure that affirming responses like “uh huh” aren’t actually distracting him or her instead.
9. Allow the conversation to flow. While boundaries are okay to enforce, conversational roadblocks should be avoided. For example, asking “Why?” or prompting the senior to talk about something when s/he isn’t in the mood to do so can shut down productive discussions. Also, resist the urge to interrupt and break the flow of the conversation. Instead, focus on listening rather than speaking.
10. Redirect instead of correct. If the person expresses wanting to do something potentially dangerous, it’s generally more effective to redirect him or her toward a safer activity rather than to prevent the action.
11. Give a limited rather than open-ended choice. A yes or no question is easier for the individual to process than is a more complicated question. Also, it is best to give a choice between two different things. For example, instead of asking what the person wants for lunch, instead ask, “Do you want soup or a sandwich?”
12. Make eye contact. Body language sends a message that you care and are listening. Be aware that you are conveying what you are feeling by your body language.
13. Consider non-verbal forms of communication. Verbal communication may not be the first choice for a person with dementia, especially as the condition progresses. It may be much easier to focus on body language, eye contact, and/or posture instead. Other senses, such as sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, can also be important and helpful when communicating.
14. Connect emotionally with them even if you don’t understand what they’re saying. When dementia reaches the moderate to severe stages, language can shift in ways that make speech seem nonsensical. This is due to dementia affecting the part of the brain that controls language. Instead of getting frustrated that you can’t understand, focus on the emotion behind what they’re saying rather than on the content. Reflect their energy. If they sound happy, respond with cheery encouragement. If they sound sad, be empathetic. This allows them to feel heard, valued, and supported.
15. Be fully present. More important than anything that is said between the two of you is the quality of the time spent together. If you are the primary caregiver and managing essential daily tasks is becoming so overwhelming that it saps the joy out of your time visiting together, it may be time to get outside assistance from a professional caregiver.